Day 17 and 18 are done. It ended with a HUGE amount of paper work to fill out before Azures first test appointment. It feels daunting. We have Bayley Scale, Sensory Profile, Behavior checklist, Parent Report, and a Stress Index. To be filled out ASAP. Feels like taking the S.A.T with every subject being our child. Should be easy you think "i know my child". But its more then that. i cant even put it into words, i don't know how to explain the tightening of my chest, the faster pace of my heart, and the buzz in my head when i start to answer page one. I'm frozen. Deep breath. Again. Deep breath. Don't cry. This is happening. I'm filling the paper work out that could answer so many unexplained questions. If Hes autistic then that's OK. Its not the possible diagnosis that scares me. Its the way people might treat him. When Kevin was deployed for the first time i got a lot of shoulder pat's and head tilts. I don't what those for my son. I don't want to hear another parents voice to go up an octave in sympathy. No matter what they say about him when this testing is over... He is my son, and he is magical. So i will answer these pages and PAGES of questions as tears roll down my cheeks. I will breath. This journey continues...
1 comment:
Beautifully written Sally; from the heart.. Azure is amazing, special.. however he is categorized. Remember the Maori culture; different people are exhaulted, someone to learn from and I have learned so much from him. His sense of humour is amazing; he is delightful and we will all learn from him
Post a Comment